Captain Charming Double Feature Friday
by jdmusiclover
Summary: In an effort to hold the hiatus doldrums at bay, flslp87 and I have decided on a project we call "Double Feature Friday". On the first Friday of every month of the hiatus, we each write a fic based on the same prompt. All stories will be one shots, and they all have one thing in common: While they all involve Captain Charming (and implied CS).
1. Maybe You've Become Family

_June's prompt was: "_ _ **David makes sure his mate rides back to Storybrooke in his car after their New York adventure**_ _."_

 _Check out_ _flslp87_ _'s take on it on her fanfiction page!_

 **Maybe You've Become Family**

It wasn't until the entire group was back together in Neal's apartment that everything hit home for David. It was always like that in times of crisis. While the crisis was going on, he was laser focused on finding a solution, saving those he loved, but as soon as calm descended, he suddenly realized what had _almost_ happened.

"You okay?" Snow asked softly, squeezing his hand and leaning down to look into his eyes.

He should have known she'd realize when he was dealing with something. They did, after all, share a heart.

"Yeah," he said, flashing her a big toothy grin (that he suspected did nothing to reassure her), "what's not to be okay about? We all made it!"

She gave him a skeptical look, but let the matter drop.

Across the room, Killian sat with Emma, their heads close, their hands clasped, as they shared a quiet conversation. David smiled, joy filling him at the sight of his daughter experiencing such obvious happiness.

The joy quickly turned to reflection once more. The stupid pirate had _almost_ gotten himself killed _again_! How many times did that make now? Four? Five? One of them coming at David's own hand in Rumple's twisted alternative universe. It was more than Emma should ever have to deal with.

It was more than _he_ should ever have to deal with. Fact was, Killian had somehow made his way into David's affections. He was not only family (or would be so as soon as Killian and Emma made it official), he was a true friend.

Watching your friend almost die, die (multiple times), and have to be left in the Underworld, was too much for any man to deal with.

And so it was, when the group from Storybrooke found themselves standing before the two cars that would take them back to their home, that David made his decision. Come hell or high water, he was going to watch his mate's back. It was the right thing to do. For his daughter, for his family.

For himself.

"So I suppose we'll take Gold's Cadillac as well as your bug, Emma," David said. "Seeing as how he's currently in another land, I doubt he'd mind."

"Sound's good to me," Emma answered, leaning her head on Killian's shoulder. "So how about you and mom take Zelena, Regina and Dr. Jekyll, and Killian and I will transport the two truants here."

David frowned. "I don't know Emma," he said. "Maybe Regina better go with you. I mean…I'm sure she wants to spend time with Henry after being so worried about him."

"Um…doubt five people could fit comfortably in the bug, Dad," Emma said with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, this is going to be a long trip."

"Well that's no problem," David answered. "Hook can come with us instead."

"Dad," Emma said, holding tightly to her pirate's arm, "my boyfriend just came back from the dead, and then a couple of hours later he got sucked into a portal and I thought, _again_ , that we may be separated forever. No offense, but I don't exactly want to let him out of my sight again for a good long while."

"And I get that," David said. "Trust me, your mother and I know what it's like to be separated again and again and again, but, I mean, doesn't it just make sense for everyone to travel back in the same groups they came here in?"

Regina shot him an exasperated look. "No, David. That makes no sense whatsoever. Who _cares_ who rides in which vehicle? I'm just ready to get the hell back to Storybrooke where we can make sure no other catastrophe has taken place in the last couple of hours."

"I gotta say, Dad," Emma said with a grin, "I'm wondering if I should be insulted that you seem more concerned with spending time with my boyfriend than you do with me."

David blew out a frustrated breath. "It's not that, Emma! It's just…" David looked around closely, hoping for inspiration. After a moment he found it. "Dr. Jekyll! Think about it! He's new here. Doesn't know anything about our modern, 21st century world. He needs someone to help him navigate the wonders and frustrations. Killian is _perfect_ for that! He knows exactly what it's like to be a stranger in Storybrooke who has no clue what to do with the modern world."

"I'm not sure whether I should be honored by that assessment of myself or insulted, mate," Killian said with a smirk.

"I'm just saying you figured it all out! You know what's going to confuse him the most," David said again. "We've got a good seven hours of driving ahead of us; be an excellent time for you to fill the good doctor in on the particulars."

Zelena stepped forward and rolled her eyes dramatically. "Oh for the love of all the gods," she groused, "just declare your undying love and be done with it!"

"Excuse me?!" David said.

"Isn't it obvious?" Zelena said. "Emma, your father wants to keep your boyfriend with him because he missed him while he was worm-food and wants to make sure he doesn't kick the bucket again…especially after his near murder in the Land of Untold Stories."

"His _what_?" Emma asked, turning toward Killian with a glare. "Killian, I love you with all my heart, but you have _got_ to stop dying. It's starting to get ridiculous!"

"I second that!" David said vehemently.

"Ha!" Zelena said, pointing a finger in David's direction. "I told you so!"

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Dave," Killian said with a teasing grin. "I tend to have that effect on people."

Emma smacked his arm.

David took a deep breath. "Fine. You've…well, you've become family, okay? I just want to make sure you're safe."

"If it means that much to you," Killian said, a genuinely pleased look on his face, "then I would be honored to share your vessel with you David."


	2. A Conversation With Mr Amazon

_July's prompt was: "_ _ **David teaches Killian how to shop online for a birthday gift for Emma**_ _."_

 _Check out_ _flslp87_ _'s take on it on her fanfiction page!_

 **A Conversation with Mr. Amazon**

Killian stood behind the wheel of the _Jolly Roger_ as she glided through the calm waters of the Storybrooke bay. Twilight was starting to paint the sky, and he thought he really ought to return to the docks before night descended on him and Swan began to worry.

It had been several months since Zeus had granted him a new lease on life, and he and Emma were now married and tremendously happy together.

Killian docked his vessel, and looked out at the colors of the sunset. Normally, a sail was just the ticket to clear his mind and set him to rights, but today was different. After what the lad told him he felt distinctly uneasy.

Would he ever learn all of this land's strange customs?

"Permission to come aboard, Captain?"

Killian turned at the sound of the prince's question.

"As you like mate," Killian said, with a wave of his hand, "though I fear I'm rather dismal company."

"Uh-oh," David said with a good-natured chuckle. "Emma mad at you for something?"

Killian shook his head and sighed. "Not yet, but I suspect that unhappy event is imminent."

"I repeat," David said, leaning next to Killian against the railing, "uh-oh. Take it from an old married man: if you're considering doing something that's going to piss off the wife, don't. Life is _much_ more pleasant that way."

Killian groaned and ran his hand distractedly through his hair. "That's the thing, Dave," he said, "upsetting Emma is the last thing I wish to do, but after what Henry told me, I fear it's inevitable."

David turned toward him, curiosity evident in his face. "And just what _did_ Henry tell you? I'm a good listener, you know. Might be I could help."

Killian looked at him for a moment and then sighed. "Henry told me that the anniversary of Swan's birth is looming. In two days to be exact."

"Yeah," David said, brow furrowed. "How's that a problem?"

Killian groaned again. "The lad informed me that it is customary in this realm to give gifts to loved ones to mark the day of their birth."

"Well…yeah..," David said. "It was that way in the Enchanted Forest too."

"Not in my time and location within the Enchanted Forest," Killian said. "One's birthday was a day to be noted, and acknowledgement given that another year had passed, but it was not celebrated. At any rate, whatever the customs of my land, Swan was brought up here and, as such, will be expecting a trinket to show my affection for her."

David shrugged. "As you said, you still have two days. Why not buy something at one of the shops in town?"

Killian gave him a disgusted look. "I mean no offense to your fair burg, Dave, but selection in gift items is sadly limited. I perused the various businesses along the main street of town, but I found nothing that adequately expresses my love for your daughter."

"You could always look for something online," David said. "You can get anything you want that way, and with overnight shipping, you can get it in plenty of time for the big day."

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And so it was that David ended up with an endlessly curious pirate sitting in front of his computer (or "magic box" as Hook insisted on calling it) later that night alternately exclaiming in wonder and cursing in frustration as he looked for the _perfect_ birthday gift for Emma.

Snow and Emma had decided to go out for drinks and have a "girls' night" earlier that evening. They were sure to be gone for a few hours. Plenty of time for David to introduce Killian to the wonders of , purchase a birthday gift, and be done with the whole affair before the ladies returned.

Or so he thought.

"How is one to obtain items from this 'amazon' fellow, mate?" Killian had asked, tilting his head this way and that, looking at the screen, turning the laptop around to peer at the back, tapping hesitantly at the keyboard.

Dave set the laptap back on the desk before the pirate could damage it with his hook.

"Oy, Mr. Amazon," Killian said clearly in the computer's direction. "I would like to buy a gift for my wife. What do you propose?"

David chuckled. "Not like that. This box isn't literally magic. Here, let me show you. If you just click on this button here…"

After showing his son-in-law how to use the "search bar" on 's homepage, David stepped away to give Neal his last bottle of the night and tuck him into bed (assuring Killian he'd never help him with anything again if he used _his_ computer to buy his little girl sexy lingere.)

When he returned, David found Killian cursing under his breath and doing his best to shove…was that a doubloon?…into one of the laptop's USB ports.

"I'm warning you, you insubordinate bilge rat," he muttered, "I'll not suffer such insolence from anyone, even one as laden with valuables as you! Accept my payment and complete my order!"

"Killian…" David asked, trying—and failing—to keep his laughter at bay. "Is that a doubloon you're trying to shove into my computer?"

"Aye. The Amazon fellow asked for payment. I'm trying to provide it! Perhaps he'd prefer I pilfer it instead!"

After a moment, David finally took pity on the pirate and put the purchase on his own credit card, assuring his son-in-law he'd accept the doubloons as repayment. They completed the transaction just as their True Loves returned to the loft.

"Don't worry, Killian," David said aside just before the Jones's took their leave. "Emma will love it."

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And love it she had when she'd opened the swan-shaped diamond pendant necklace. She was, in fact, quite exuberant in her "thank yous" late that evening after Henry went to bed.

Altogether, Killian decided he liked this realms tradition of giving birthdabirthday gifts—and it's tradition of shopping via the magic box.


	3. A Lesson in Swordsmanship

_"_ _ **David sees Killian teaching Henry to sword fight**_ _."_

 _When you've finished, be sure to stop by flslp87's ff page to see her take on the prompt!_

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"That's right lad! Advance!" Killian said, holding his stick out before him, ready to parry the next blow. "When you have your adversary on the retreat press your advantage."

David watched from his place behind a tree at the edge of the park. While on his rounds, he'd heard a commotion and gone to investigate. He'd relaxed before he'd even gotten in view of the battle, Henry and Hook having taken up sturdy sticks and "sword fighting", hearing Henry laugh joyously, a sound that was all too rare after all that had happened over the past few months.

David's first inclination was to find a stick of his own and join the fray, but he thought better of it. Hook was a master swordsman—trained by the royal navy, with centuries of practice perfecting his skill. Could be that David could pick up a few pointers.

Not that he was going to let his not-quite-son-in-law know he needed them. A man has his pride after all.

And so it was that David hid behind a tree and unabashedly eavesdropped.

Emma's two True Loves fought back and forth, alternately advancing and retreating, laughing and trading playful quips, sticks clashing against each other. Finally Hook whirled, brought his stick down, and neatly disarmed his teenage opponent.

"Wow!" Henry said. "How did you _do_ that?!"

"It's all in the twirl, my lad," Killian said, leaning against a tree. "While the twirl is a most effective way to impress the ladies, that's far from its only purpose. By drawing out your attack, you increase the momentum with which you land your blow."

As Killian patiently demonstrated his signature move, David leaned so far forward, he nearly fell to the ground.

The first attempt Henry made went spectacularly wrong. He misjudged his twirl, and instead of landing a blow to his opponent, he ended up falling awkwardly to the grass.

"Alright there, lad?" Killian asked, offering Henry his hook to help him up.

Henry grinned, taking the offered metal appendage and getting to his feet. "Yeah, it's gonna take a lot more than that to defeat me, Killian."

"Oh is it indeed?"

"Yeah," Henry insisted with a decisive nod. "What did I do wrong? Why'd I end up falling down?"

"Too much enthusiasm, mate," Hook said, raising his sword once more. "No matter how flashy, you must make every move with deliberation. Think about where you wish your sword to land and follow the path with your eyes as well as your hand. It will keep you grounded and successful."

Henry nodded, took up his own stance once more and prepared for his twirling attack. David leaned yet farther…and then froze as his foot snapped a twig.

Killian whipped his head around, looking attentively for the source of the interruption…clearly ready to confront whatever attacker might be coming their way. David moved quickly, hiding himself behind the tree. After a moment, Killian relaxed, turning away from the source of the noise and back toward his almost-step-son.

David breathed a sigh of relief. Close call! If he'd been caught…well that would have been embarrassing.

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"Alright, Dave," Killian called, amusement lacing his voice, "you can come out now. The lad has hurried off to the bust stop."

There was a beat of silence, and then Sheriff David Nolan, Prince of the Enchanted Forest, shuffled out from behind the tree, looking as guilty as a child who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Killian's smile blossomed. He little knew what Swan's father had been up to, but he fully intended to tease him within an inch of his life.

"This isn't what it looks like!" David said, attempting to stand tall and proud.

"Aye?" Killian asked on a laugh, "you weren't spying on your grandson and me as we got in a bit of sword play before school?"

David huffed, and then glanced aside. "Okay, maybe it _was_ what it looked like, but I was merely doing my job! I heard a commotion in the park and came to investigate. Never know what kind of villains might show up."

Killian raised one eyebrow. "And yet you remained after you'd ascertained nothing nefarious was at hand. David…did you fear you needed to…to _protect_ Henry from me? Do you fear I might be a _danger_ to him?"

Suddenly the grin slid from Killian's face as the guilt rushed over him again. Aye, he'd turned his life around, but he'd been a villain…and more recently an out-of-control Dark One. Did his loved ones fear he'd relapse?

Shock quickly covered the prince's face, and he rushed forward, putting a hand on Killian's shoulder. "No!" he hurried to exclaim. "Nothing like that! Killian, I know you'd _never_ hurt Henry. We _all_ know how much of a hero you are! You gave your life to save my daughter—all of us really."

Killian let out a long breath and nodded slightly. "If that's not the case, why the secrecy, Dave?"

Killian watched in amusement as his love's father flushed a deep scarlet. "I…look, if you tell anyone, I swear I'll make your life miserable…but I wanted to learn your techniques. You make the whole sword fight thing look effortless."

Killian's teasing grin returned. "Should have said so, mate. I'd be pleased to offer you lessons as well."

David shot him an exasperated frown, and Killian felt an unexpected surge of affection well up for his friend.

"Although, I'd wager you little need the help," Killian continued firmly "Anyone who could teach Henry the basics so effectively is well able to hold his own."

David gave Killian's shoulder a squeeze and stepped back, smile firmly in place. "Between the two of us, I'd say we'll have Henry ready to take on any villain who might next appear."

"That we will," Killian said, feeling the acceptance and _family_ of that statement clear down to his toes. "Aye, Dave, just like your lovely daughter, I'd say you and I make quite the team."


	4. Of Ports and Ships and Birds and Bees

**Double Feature Friday-September Edition**

In an effort to hold the hiatus doldrums at bay, flslp87 and I have decided on a project we call "Double Feature Friday". On the first Friday of every month of the hiatus, we each write a fic based on the same prompt. (Here's more info.) We've reached our last Double Feature Friday, as we've reached our last Friday of the hiatus! I hope you've enjoyed our little hiatus project! September prompt: Killian and David give Henry "the talk".

 _Check out flslp87's take on it on her Tumblr, or Archive of Our Own page._

 _Keep reading for my take._

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It all happened one crisp, cool October evening in the stables of Camelot.

When peace was restored in Storybrooke, it occurred to the town that they still had the Black Fairy's wand, and were thus capable of creating portals anytime they wished. The Charming/Swan/Jones family had decided to make a visit to Camelot, hoping to enjoy its splendor under better circumstances than the last time. On the third evening of their visit, Killian talked Swan (now his wife) into taking a moonlit ride to the Middlemist fields.

So it was that the two of them came upon Henry and Violet kissing as they lay together in one of the horse's stalls.

Swan had been shocked beyond belief to find her lad in such a compromising position.

"Calm down, Swan," Killian had soothed. "They were merely kissing. Both were fully clothed."

She'd shot him a look that could curdle milk. "Killian, Henry is fifteen years old. _Fifteen_! I know it was like a million years ago, but do you remember what it was like to be fifteen? The hormones are out of control. Things might have been innocent enough so far, but who knows how long _that_ would have lasted!"

"Henry's a good lad and…"

"I need you to have the talk with him," she'd cut in, giving him a determined look.

"The…beg pardon?"

"The talk," she said, "you know about sex and being careful and, you know, waiting until you're like a hundred and fifty? You know, _that_ talk?"

Killian had tried to protest that he was perhaps the wrong person to give such a talk to the lad. His past with regard to the subject had been, after all, far from what Swan would wish her son to emulate, but his true love had been implacable. She trusted him to give Henry the information he needed and show him the importance of respecting both himself and the girl he had tender feelings for. Killian had been rather honored by his wife's faith in him, and in the end, he'd done the only thing he could do.

He'd showed up at David's chamber door.

"So," David said, hands on hips, "let me get this straight. You want _me_ to help you give Henry the _sex_ talk?"

"Aye, mate!" Killian said, in something like desperation. "Swan felt it would be easier for the lad coming from a father figure in his life. Naturally, I came to the best bloody father I know for support and reinforcement."

Killian believed it was the blatant (but heartfelt) flattery that finally won the day. After taking a quick moment to let his wife know where he was going, Charming stepped out of his chamber door, and the two turned manfully toward the task at hand.

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"And so, lad," Killian said, "it's natural for sailors to find themselves…entranced by the beauty of the lands to which they set sail. A sailor often finds his mast is particularly raised, and he wishes to…sail his ship into the lovely land's port, but he must be careful that the…sailors he sends ashore do not mix with the natives until he's prepared to deal with the consequences. He also must be cautious because sometimes the lands contain…residents he does not wish to take aboard his own vessel."

Henry looked blankly at his step-father.

"I hope that rather cleared things up for you," Killian finished.

Gramps rolled his eyes. "Hook! Of course that didn't clear things up! We're talking about the birds and the bees here, not going out for a sail on a Sunday afternoon!"

Killian shot him an exasperated look. "And am I to suppose the habits of birds or bees have anything to do with discussing coupling?"

Gramps glared at Killian. "It's just a _saying_ in our world!"

"How terribly illogical."

Throughout this exchange, Henry sat silently, horror dawning on his features as he suddenly realized the topic at hand. "Wait…are you guys trying to give me the _talk_?"

"Aye," Killian answered, "the very same."

"But…" Henry sputtered, "my mom already gave me the talk! Both moms! I know, you know, how babies are made and all of that."

"It would seem your mother felt you needed a refresher course after finding you in a compromising position with your lady."

Henry felt waves of embarrassment bubble up within him. "We weren't, you know, _doing_ anything. She just…fell, and I bent down to help her up, and before I knew it we were kissing. Nothing else was going to happen! I promise! I know Violet's dad would totally murder me if I tried anything."

Gramps clapped his hand on Henry's shoulder. "The thing is, when hormones start getting involved…it's amazing how quickly one thing can lead to another without you ever meaning it to happen."

"Aye," Killian agreed with a quick nod. "And I fully understand the carnal pull to a lovely lady. As a pirate, I…spent the night…with my fair share of willing lasses, but let me tell you, lad. As pleasant as it may seem at the time, merely scratching an itch is nothing to waiting until the time is right. When you've offered yourself body and soul to your true love, lovemaking is magical…even more so when your lady possesses magic. Let me tell you, there was one time with Swan when we…"

"Hook!"

"Killian!"

"Very well, I'll spare the details," Killian conceded, "but the point remains, waiting for the right person—and waiting until you're both fully ready—is more than worth it."

"I'll second that!" Gramps nodded.

Henry nodded. "I'm the author, remember?" he asked. "I know all about true love and everything. I know I'm not ready for any of that stuff, and I'd never, like, ask Violet to do anything she's not ready for."

"Good lad!" Killian said.

"And you can come talk to Killian or me about this stuff anytime you have questions," Gramps assured."

"No matter what species of bird or bee you might wish to discuss," Killian said.


End file.
